Dreaming of Freedom
I am deeply grateful to those of you who have given and shared our story. If you want to donate or spread the word, feel free to use this link: https://gofund.me/cb72f3fd
Six years ago, at the height of my life, my freedom was stripped from me in a hit and run accident that left me on the side of the road with a very broken body and a brain injury. For the last six years, I have not enjoyed the privilege of freedom as a driver. At first it was so hard to adjust to the change but like all things we journey through at some point the experience we are having becomes our "normal". But six years is a long time. For the parents out there surviving the taxi years... enjoy them as much as you can. I was stripped of those precious car rides when my son still needed me as a way to get to all the places he was going.
There was a loss of SELF and INDEPENDENCE that is impossible to describe. There was a loss of competence and personhood that is strangely twisted in. I only go where I MUST. Never do I follow a fancy, chase my muse or take myself on a hike (literally one of my most treasured things... taken by my inability to drive.) I don’t go to coffee shops to engage with interesting folks as I work on my latest writing. I can’t drive myself to the mountains to get away for a weekend or go out with my people as often as I would like.
NOT driving has been devastating in my life. I have made the best of it and I have had the opportunity to have the deepest gratitude for a small team of angels who have given me their precious time again and again to get me where I needed to go. There are a handful of them who have been my pinch hitters FOR SIX YEARS. There are teenagers who have come to my rescue in desperate moments. And then there are times I have had to cancel appointments or squeeze yet one more dinner out of an empty fridge because 20 texts later... I just couldn't find a ride. It is a weird way of living… hard to describe and even harder to believe we are still here.
Since my son started driving, having a driver in the house again has been AMAZING (teaching him to drive with a brain injury was.... well.....you can imagine!) About 2 years ago, he rode in a self-driving Tesla and came home to announce to me, “MOM! The Tesla is our answer!!!!!” I was definitely skeptical, having never ridden in one and I couldn't imagine it could actually DRIVE YOU!! Fast-forward to winter 2022... on a rainy night when I had the opportunity to drive one... for 45 minutes, on the interstate and in town, in the dark, in the rain.... AND I DID IT!!!! It was like I was partnered with the dream team to make the things that were difficult in driving post brain injury lift! It felt like a miracle... and so began the mission of my amazing son to figure out how to get me back on the road before he graduated last May. Though he hasn’t reached the goal, he has miraculously raised $16K. It has been humbling to say the least and beyond amazing to experience him so determined to extend a hand of love toward his momma. He is activating a new wave of determination to get me back on the road as he heads off to college this week.
I have been dreaming of freedom and imagining having my independence back since he started this campaign. Honestly, I didn't realize how much of my life and perception of self was affected by that loss of freedom until I started dreaming about what it would feel like to drive again. It has opened hope in me in a new way on this very LONG journey of recovery.
I am deeply grateful to those of you who have given and shared our story. If you want to donate or spread the word, feel free to use this link: https://gofund.me/cb72f3fd
I can't tell you what it means to me to think about getting my life back. It is something that I can't do on my own and I am so thankful for an army of support around me (which is medicine to the soul in and of itself).
As always, know that you are deeply loved.
Embracing the journey, Kara 💜